Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Eek, still just pulling in at 99lbs *phew*

Had quite a time of it yesterday. After 2-3 days of solid OU readreadread *argh my eyes!* I've managed to do 2 weeks work in 3 days. My problem lies in the report writing task for the assignment. Purhaps I've just given myself writers fear-block after struggling with the essays of the openings course O_o, maybe when I begin writing it'll be ok :(

But yes, had all the tell-tale signs of collapse, hyperventilating, difficulty concentrating and close to tears all day, sick feeling and tummy twinges. Couldn't find any Kalms in my pedestal so had coffee in the blind hope that any kind of focus will be better than the state I was getting myself into.
Much to my surprise the coffee helped, just keeping my mind on something long enough to begin and then once engrossed the rest of the day was about managable.

Now I'm at the point of the 1st assignment, I can feel the ebbing of the 2nd assignment in the background waiting for me.

This weekend is my hen do. My bloody hen do, how am I suposed to concentrate on anything fun, easy, do what you've been doing all along, get hammered.
The black outs aren't so funny these days, the drinking follows me around more than a recreative/ice breaker tool. Funny points: falling down the stairs backwards. I REMEMBER finding it very funny at the time, in fact I bellowed with hearty laughter for quite a while even after the fall. Yes it happened in slow motion in my head too, I waited for the neck breaking hit or the thud as my head hit the wall but by some miracle they never quite came. So I won't be rolled down the isle, not as it stands.

This is the point to laugh, really, hysterically if you can. I am tired but can't see a way forward, I just know that the wedding is going to be a massive brick to the face, and the first part begins this weekend.
I want to cry, but really I just want my assignments to go away without OU upping the course of each module to be three-fold what it is currently, not for the next 6 years, no. So that's it Josh, that's why you're here, at this point today. You always wanted your youth/adult life to have caught up with your peers, well here it is. Grab it with both hands as you may never get another chance again.

Just sayin', no pressure like!!

*big breath out*....